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Love Funny Quotes Biography

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Breathes there a man with soul so dead, who never to his wife hath said, "Breakfast be damned, come back to bed." Anonymous

To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful. Anonymous

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. Judith Viorst

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions? Lily Tomlin

Love is sharing your popcorn. Charles Schultz

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. Helen Gurley Brown

When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged. James Montgomery Bailey

There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach. Barbara Hower

Gravitation can't be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

Tim Allen

Teenagers don't know what love is. They have mixed-up ideas. They go for a drive and the boy runs out of gas and they smooch a little and the girl says she loves him. That isn't love. Love is when you are married twenty-five years, smooching in your living room and he runs out of gas and she says she still loves him. That's love.

Norm Crosby

My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine's Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside --- Made in Taiwan! Leopold Fetchner

If you love 'em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love 'em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you're in love. Miles Davis

When you're in love, it's the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.

Richard Lewis

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it. Helen Rowland

Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. Phyllis Schlafly

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

Professor Irwin Corey

Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other's minimum daily requirements.

Kathy Mohnke

Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. Joyce Brothers

Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you'd be surprise at the large number that re-enlist. James Garner

What's the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday. Cindy Garner

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else. Jean Kerr

Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don't; men hope women won't change, but they do. Bettina Arndt

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.

Cindy Garner

My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. Jack Benny

A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. Anonymous

A kiss is a rosy dot over the "I" of loving. Cerano de Bergerac

An arhaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. Bob Hope

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. Fran Lebowitz

A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. Spanish Proverb

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth! Chico Marx

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since. Arturo Toscanini

Don't make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain't. Anonymous

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?

Jean Illsley Clarke

Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. Anonymous

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. Pearl Bailey

He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. Ring Lardner

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. Rowland

Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms.

J. P. Senn

Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. English Proverb

If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. Katherine Mansfield

Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. Jewish Proverb

Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. Judith Viorst

Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

Franklin P. Jones

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Erich Segal

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something. Fran Lebowitz

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life. Cher

Age does not protect you from love. But, love, to some extent, protects you from age. Jeanne Moreau

The heart has no wrinkles. Mme de Sevigne

I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow. Edmond Rostand

I love you not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. Roy Croft

Love creates an "us" without destroying the "me." Leo Buscaglia

A woman with one lover is an angel. A woman with two lovers is a monster.

A woman with three lovers is a woman. Victor Hugo

There is only one kind of love, but there are thousands of different copies.

French Proverb

If you flatter the mother, you will hug the daughter. Russian Proverb

Love wasn't put in your heart to stay. Love isn't love till you give it away.

Anonymous

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Love and scandals are the best sweeteners of tea. Henry Fielding

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. Lynda Barry

Fire in the heart sends smoke into the head. German Proverb

We are easily duped by those we love. Moliere

The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're still alive. Orlando A. Battista

Love is like linen, often changed, the sweeter. Phineas Fletcher

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes it's partner in crime.

Mignon McLaughlin

Love is when two people who care for each other get confused. Bob Schneider

For a little love, you pay all your life. Yiddish Proverb

Love is blind and marriage is a real eye-opener. Anonymous

Love is blinding. That is why lovers like to touch. German Proverb

Love is said to be blind, but I know lots of fellows in loe who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I can. Josh Billings

Love is never without some thorns. Slovakian Proverb

Love is a cloth which imagination embroiders. Voltaire

Love is the fruit in season at all times. Mother Teresa (Agnes Gonxha Bejaxhia)

Love is metaphysical gravity. R. Buckminster Fuller

Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. Jean Anouilh

Love either finds equality or makes it. John Dryden

Love does not cause suffering. What causes it is the sense of ownership, which is love's opposite. Antoine de Saint Exupery

Love is proved in the letting go. C. Day Lewis

Till I loved, I never lived enough. Emily Dickinson