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Happy Birthday Funny Quotes Biography

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I'm most comfortable in my birthday suit.

Amanda Seyfried

Suit

Some people won't go the extra mile, and then on their birthday, when no one makes a fuss, they feel neglected and bitter.

Anne Lamott

Makes, Bitter, Neglected

Mum loves me being famous! She is so excited and proud, as she had me so young and couldn't support me, so I am living her dream, it's sweeter for both of us. It's her 40th birthday soon and I'm going to buy her 40 presents.

Adele

Famous, Living, Young

You know, maybe I was just born in the wrong time, but I love all things romantic. Puffy understands that. For my last birthday, he covered my hotel room floor with rose petals and had flowers and candles all over the room.

Jennifer Lopez

Romantic, Love, Time

The worst part about celebrating another birthday is the shock that you're only as well as you are.

Anne Lamott

Worst, Another, Shock

Every day, every birthday candle I blow out, every penny I throw over my shoulder in a wishing well, every time my daughter says, 'Let's make a wish on a star,' there's one thing I wish for: wisdom.

Rene Russo

Time, Wisdom, Wish

I just had my 30th birthday and we went turkey shooting. It's what I wanted to do, so we went.

Kelly Clarkson

Turkey, Shooting

I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory.

Sloane Crosley

Good, Memory, Baby

Cakes are special. Every birthday, every celebration ends with something sweet, a cake, and people remember. It's all about the memories.

Buddy Valastro

Remember, Special, Sweet

I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been.

Lewis Black

Guy

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

Larry David

Funny, Thinking, Wife

I often go to bed in my birthday suit. But I like teddies and cute little undies that match. I like a sexy bra and panty set, or little shorts.

Queen Latifah

Sexy, Often, Cute

Having a birthday cake squashed into your face by young kids? Delicious. I always don a Santa suit at Christmas. Remaining childish is a tremendous state of innocence.

John Lydon

Christmas, Young, Kids

I like to go to anybody else's birthday, and if I'm invited I'm a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really don't care.

Mikhail Baryshnikov

Good, Care, Else

My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing.

Chris Brown

Best, Amazing, Nice

When I was in elementary school, I used to write letters to myself. I'd write letters and go 'Dear Kristen-at-16-years-old, happy birthday. I hope you're doing something.'

Kristin Kreuk

Hope, Happy, School

I tried to bake a cake for my mother's birthday - it took me four hours. It was terrible, and I cried for three days.

Rachael Ray

Mother, Days, Three

I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.

Johnny Vegas

Mind, School, Sex

I left school on my 15th birthday.

David Bailey

School, Left

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

Flip Wilson

Teacher, School, Memory

I want a chainsaw very badly, because I think cutting down a tree would be unbelievably satisfying. I have asked for a chainsaw for my birthday, but I think I'll probably be given jewelry instead.

Susan Orlean

Tree, Jewelry, Asked

I threw my 20th birthday party at Brown, and I didn't even have to say to anyone not to put pictures on Facebook. Not a single picture went up. That was when I knew I'd found a solid group of friends, and I felt like I belonged.

Emma Watson

Friends, Single, Group

It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our creator, our very self-consciousness, is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. It was a bitter birthday present from evolution.

Annie Dillard

Bitter, Present, Ironic

I think the best thing about my job is that I have my life documented, which not many people get to have. They have a photo here and there and maybe some video footage from a birthday. My kids will be able to see me growing up.

Kirsten Dunst

Life, Best, Job

I had been offered a Hollywood contract before my 18th birthday. It gave me the spark I needed.

Gene Tierney

Hollywood, Gave, Needed

When I was a kid, for my birthday every year, my mother made me pasta bechamel, which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce.

Giada De Laurentiis

Mother, Year, Kid

My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend, I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on, and I would record it in my Filofax calendar.

Susan Orlean

Friend, Her, Used

John Candy knew he was going to die. He told me on his 40th birthday. He said, well, Maureen, I'm on borrowed time.

Maureen O'Hara

Death, Time, Die

Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It's the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don't like at work where you stop everything to sing 'Happy Birthday' to someone. I feel like that's for children.

Mindy Kaling

Work, Happy, Children

The day before my 16th birthday I got my guitar.

Stevie Nicks

Guitar

Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.

Margaret Cho

Surprise, Party, Horrible

When I was six, my best friend's parents bought him a piano. My mother noticed that every time I would go to his house, the first thing I would say to him was 'Levester' - His name was Levester - I said, 'Levester, can I go play your piano?' So, on my 7th birthday, my parents bought me a piano.

Herbie Hancock

Time, Best, Mother

I had arranged a birthday party for him and my children, who are all Aquarians. Instead, we got married. I ran out of excuses. It was just us and my children.

Diane von Furstenberg

Children, Him, Married

The first guitar I ever got was for my 13th birthday.

Rick Springfield

Guitar

Success happened little by little for me. I tasted the flavor of fame in small doses: I started at 10 years old when I won a music contest; I was performing at birthday parties, company meetings.

Shakira

Success, Music, Small

The Queen of Crafts herself, Martha Stewart, and I have the same birthday. I prefer to think it's the glue-gun wielding, perfect-tart-producing Martha and not the copper pan-throwing, jail-going Martha. But I suppose if I am going to share a calendar square with some of Martha, I have to share it with all of Martha.

Sloane Crosley

Share, Queen, Herself

Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every social engagement, interview, reading, flight, doctor's appointment, birthday and dry-cleaning reminder has been handwritten between metal loops.

Sloane Crosley

Time, Graduation, Social

If we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday at a time of presidential inaugurals, this is thanks to Ronald Reagan who created the holiday, and not to the Democratic Congress of the Carter years, which rejected it.

David Horowitz

History, Time, Congress

Every year before a big competition, I get hurt doing stuff I should not be doing. One year it was my little brother's 12th birthday. We all played hide-and-seek late at night. I climbed up a 30-foot tree, thinking he'd never catch me. I tripped and fell on one of the branches and I hit my head.

Ryan Lochte

Hurt, Thinking, Night

I played rugby for years, and I had a rugby jacket that I lost when I was 14. Somehow, my brother found it in storage 15 years later, and he gave it back to me for my 30th birthday. That was amazing and probably one of the best gifts I've ever received.

Ryan Reynolds

Best, Amazing, Lost

Citizens, thank you for all your birthday wishes. I am 88 years old today and still lucky to live in the greatest city in the world.

Ed Koch

Today, Greatest, Old

I guess I could say I'm an actor, which I am, but that sounds like I'm putting down being a movie star, which, let's face it, is what I've become to many people. For myself, I'm a guy who was very insecure from about age 14 until the day I hit my 30th birthday.

Dennis Quaid

Age, Face, Insecure

I get uncomfortable when people give me presents and watch me open them. I don't have birthday parties, because the idea of a group of people singing and looking at me while I'm blowing out candles gives me hives.

Brit Marling

Looking, Group, Idea

I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake and made a wish, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I threw a coin into a fountain, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.' If I saw a shooting star, I would wish to be on 'Saturday Night Live.'

Jimmy Fallon

Night, Goal, Wish

I saw Richard Linklater's film 'Slacker' for my twenty-first birthday. That was the moment when it all seemed possible. This guy gave me hope.

Kevin Smith

Hope, Moment, Film

For Tim Burton's birthday I gave him a rainbow beetle. He loved it!

Eva Green

Loved, Him, Rainbow

I've got some incredible fans actually - so loyal and they make me birthday cards and Christmas cards. I got this package of poems and artwork based around the songs. They've got this thing called 'Floetry' where they all have to put in artwork. They've set up their own competitions and stuff which is kind of amazing.

Florence Welch

Christmas, Amazing, Actually

All my favorite stars, my family and my friends are here. I'm having the happiest birthday that an 18-year-old girl could ever have.

Brandy Norwood

Family, Girl, Friends

We all have special numbers in our lives, and 4 is that for me. It's the day I was born. My mother's birthday, and a lot of my friends' birthdays, are on the fourth; April 4 is my wedding date.

Beyonce Knowles

Wedding, Mother, Friends

If you are an actress in L.A., on your 40th birthday they should just hand you the keys to the lunatic asylum.