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Cute Funny Quotes Biography

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Barry Goldwater

I think any man in business would be foolish to fool around with his secretary. If it's somebody else's secretary, fine.

Roger Kahn

I was showing early symptoms of becoming a professional baseball man. I was lying to the press.

Robert Paul

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

Miguel de Unamuno

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion.

Alexander Woollcott

All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

Ron Nesen

Nobody believes the official spokesman, but everybody trusts an unidentified source.

Jay Leno

Don't forget Mother's Day… or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.

Tom Snyder

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

Benjamin Franklin

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

Anonymous

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.

Demetri Martin

Love, Trust, Women

Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect - But tell me the truth.

Shel Silverstein

Truth, Wise, Perfect

The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in.

Paris Hilton

Life, Short, Boring

Cute is when your personality shines through your looks. Like, when you see someone's personality in the way they walk and you just feel like hugging them every time you see them.

Natalie Portman

Time, Walk, Looks

The only difference between me and others is that they think they can change something with cute little poems, nice cards or embracing trees and being nice to little lapdogs.

Henry Rollins

Change, Nice, Others

Because I think every child star suffers through this period because you're not the cute and charming child that you were. You start to grow, and they want to keep you little forever.

Michael Jackson

Child, Start, Keep

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.

Gilda Radner

Women, Woman, Cry

When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want your pet to be.

Natalie Portman

Pet, Guy, Desirable

The laughs mean more to me than the adoration. If two girls walk up to me and one says 'you're cute', I'll say thank you, but I appreciate it much more when the other one says 'you make me laugh so much'.

Michael J. Fox

Girl, Mean, Laugh

When you say, 'I spent my summers at the Jersey Shore,' people always say, 'Oh, really?' They think of the TV show. So I just say, 'A cute little harbor town in New Jersey.'

Taylor Swift

Show, Tv, Oh

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.

Dave Barry

God, Concerned, Plight

I guess in general, people tend to not eat the cute animals.

Elayne Boosler

Eat, General, Guess

I've lived next door to people all my life. I don't know how cute they think I am.

Sandra Bullock

Life, Door, Next

Don't try to be what you're not. If you're nervous, be nervous. If you're shy, be shy. It's cute.

Adriana Lima

Shy, Nervous

I'm not the same person I was. I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me. I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that.

Paris Hilton

Power, Girl, Young

Usually the nonsense liberals spout is kind of cute, but in wartime their instinctive idiocy is life-threatening.

Ann Coulter

Nonsense, Liberals, Idiocy

Cute is when a person's personality shines through their looks. Like in the way they walk, every time you see them you just want to run up and hug them.

Natalie Portman

Time, Walk, Run

I couldn't be an ingenue today, because the business has changed. I remember when you could dress for a premiere just by putting on a cute top. Now you have to be perfect and fabulous in every way, or you're ridiculed.

Julia Roberts

Business, Today, Remember

Reese Witherspoon is as cute as a button on Raggedy Ann's overalls, but irresistible raw sex appeal is not one of her qualities.

Roger Ebert

Sex, Her, Qualities

I tried Botox one time and was permanently surprised for a couple of months. It was not a cute look for me. My feeling is, I have three children who should know what emotion I'm feeling at the exact moment I'm feeling it... that is critical.

Julia Roberts

Time, Children, Feeling

I mean, I don't think I'm alone when I look at the homeless person or the bum or the psychotic or the drunk or the drug addict or the criminal and see their baby pictures in my mind's eye. You don't think they were cute like every other baby?

Dustin Hoffman

Alone, Mind, Mean

Most of me was glad when my mother died. She was a handful, but not in a cute, festive way. More in a life-threatening way, that had caused me a long time ago to give up all hope of ever feeling good about having had her as a mother.

Anne Lamott

Time, Hope, Good

I hated the Naked Chef. Fine, yes, he did good things for school food or whatever, but, you know, I don't want my chefs to be cute and adorable.

Anthony Bourdain

Food, Good, School

Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized.

Margaret Atwood

Girl, Small, Another

If I'm going to be 'too' anything, 'too cute' is fine. I love puppies. So what? Who hates puppies?

Zooey Deschanel

Love, Fine, Hates

I think penguins are cute.

Zooey Deschanel

There are so many cute vintage dresses made out of synthetics from the '60s and '70s - but they're so itchy and hot. It's not worth it!

Zooey Deschanel

Worth, Hot, Vintage

I'm cute - and God I hate that. Because that's not cool. I'm like your niece, and nobody wants to date their niece. It's the chubby cheeks. The whole reason people voted for me on American Idol is because I'm an everyday, normal girl.

Kelly Clarkson

God, Cool, Hate

I've got a song on One Direction's album called 'Tell Me A Lie'. It's a really cute song - I love it. I loved that they liked it. They sound really great on it. I already have it - I'm so VIP with my copy on my computer! It does sound really good.

Kelly Clarkson

Love, Great, Good

I often go to bed in my birthday suit. But I like teddies and cute little undies that match. I like a sexy bra and panty set, or little shorts.

Queen Latifah

Birthday, Sexy, Often

I'm drawn to almost any piece of writing with the words 'divine love' and 'impeachment' in the first sentence. But I know the word 'divine' makes many progressive people run screaming for their cute little lives, and so one hesitates to use it.

Anne Lamott

Love, Writing, Words

I was probably the only revolutionary referred to as cute.

Abbie Hoffman

Referred

I think penguins are the most human of all the birds, which may be why people love them. They're cute, they stand upright and they look like they're wearing tuxedos.

Shia LaBeouf

Love, May, Stand

I do like Britney Spears. I think she's cute. I think she's fun. And I like her records. You know, I'm not a pop snob whatsoever. I think she makes great pop records.

Elton John

Great, Fun, Her

I was born fat and have always been, which was just fine and even healthy and cute until I turned ten or so. Puberty hit like a hurricane and brought a new set of rules. All of a sudden it was my fault I was chubby.

Beth Ditto

Rules, Healthy, Fat

Y'all are so cute and y'all talk so proper over here. I love England.

Beyonce Knowles

Love, Talk, Here

Confidence is very sexy. You could be not cute at all and have such confidence.

Kirsten Dunst

Sexy, Confidence

There are all sorts of cute puppy dogs, but it doesn't stop people from going out and buying Dobermans.

Angus Young

Stop, Dogs, Buying

Always wear cute pyjamas to bed, you'll never know who u will meet in your dreams.

Joel Madden

Dreams, Bed, Meet

He was so excited. He cut out pictures of these landscapes and neighborhoods and kind of really tried to give you a feel of the movie. It was kind of cute but at the same time it really showed his enthusiasm for it.

Macaulay Culkin

Time, Give, Pictures

I'm taking my rats. Those are my friends for the tour. Thelma and Louise. They're so cute.

Pink

Friends, Taking, Tour

My aim is to achieve sustainable change, not just make a cute little makeover.

Jamie Oliver

Change, Achieve, Aim

I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gained about twenty pounds over the past two years, and the more weight I've put on, the more success I've had. If you drew a diagram of weight gain and me getting more work, a mathematician would draw some conclusions from that.

Zach Galifianakis

Success, Work, Past

If I'm traveling, I'll pack socks in my bag - really cute furry ones.

Nicki Minaj

Traveling, Bag, Pack

I was naturally skinny and had braces, so I wasn't a cute model.

Amanda Seyfried

Model, Skinny, Naturally

I'm not a sexy person. I'm OK with it. I've never been the sexy girl. Whenever I've had a boyfriend, he's always been like, 'Oh, you're cute.'

Lauren Conrad

Girl, Sexy, Boyfriend

I wish I was one of those cute pregnant girls who wear skinny jeans throughout their pregnancies. But I just gain weight.

Jennifer Garner

Girl, Wish, Pregnant

Cameron Diaz was so cute at the MTV Movie Awards when she pulled her skirt up and wiped her armpits.

Pink

Her, She, Movie

When you have a beanpole body, everything looks cute. Like Alexa Chung. I like her style, but she's really tall and skinny, so everything looks good on her.

Kirsten Dunst

Good, Her, Style

Doing 'All Good Things' really felt like I was acting for myself rather than anyone else. It gave me a freedom I'd never had before, or knew I had, to do whatever I want to, and to argue my opinions and not just feel like the cute girl on set or the girl in a boy's club. I figured out how I could be both. And it's been different ever since.

Kirsten Dunst

Freedom, Good, Girl

Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person? He's funny. He's cute. He's great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that's cool.

Britney Spears

Funny, Great, Cool

Jennifer Aniston is cute, but I wouldn't call her beautiful. I think that is why Cheryl Cole is so popular, because she is just so pretty and the public are starved of gorgeous people. When I was young, everybody on screen was gorgeous.

Joan Collins

Beautiful, Pretty, Young

In high school, it was all about popularity, being with the boyfriend and all the girls thinking he's cute.

Ashley Tisdale

School, Girl, Thinking

People see me as cute, but I'm so much more than that.

Ashley Tisdale

I love developing children as characters. Children rarely have important roles in literary fiction - they are usually defined as cute or precious, or they create a plot by being kidnapped or dying.

Barbara Kingsolver

Love, Children, Dying

I see a cute guy in Starbucks and I'm like... 'Oh, okay,' and I walk out. But who knows? Maybe I will ask somebody on a date soon!

Shay Mitchell

Walk, Guy, Somebody

My relationship with my mother is not cute.

Mika

Mother

My first real kiss came when I was 10, and it was in an acting class. I had to do a scene from a movie where someone gets kissed under a tree, and I did not want to do it! But my acting partner wanted me to feel comfortable, so he bought a picnic basket with all these snacks. He made such an effort - and it was cute.

Vanessa Hudgens

Acting, Effort, Kiss

I used to say that I wanted someone cute and nice, an actor too, so he'd get it. But now I think it would be good for me to date someone who's not in the business.

Selena Gomez

Business, Good, Nice

I speak English, so I am no longer cute. My tongue itches for French.

Anna Held

Speak, English, Tongue

Before Footloose, the things I'd done weren't cute. In Diner I was an alcoholic.

Kevin Bacon

Diner, Footloose

I think the main reason a lot of child stars don't make it is that it's hard to see someone as cute and then all of a sudden see them as having more depth.

Christina Ricci

Reason, Child, Stars

Sometimes dirty can come off really cute or come off 'I don't even want you to touch me.'

Kelly Rowland

Sometimes, Touch, Off

I hate 'foodie' because it's cute, like pretty much all diminutives associated with eating. 'Veggies,' 'sammies,' 'parm.' I eat food, and I cook it: it's for eating, preferably with friends, and I don't make a fetish out of it.

Steve Albini

Food, Hate, Friends

I would just love once to be called sexy. Just because it would make me something other than cute.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

Love, Sexy, Once

It's a trap I've fallen into earlier in my career - trying to be liked. Don't do it. When I watch TV and I see someone trying to make me like them, acting cute or quirky or goofy, I'm not impressed. Don't act like America's watching you. Just latch onto your character. Characters are flawed. Be unlikeable. Be flawed. Be a person.

Nathan Fillion

Character, America, Trying

I love those preliminary conversations about who a character is. You try on wigs, shoes and clothes. It's preferable when it's not about looking pretty. It can get a little dull to just be cute. We talk about things like, maybe my character can't afford these Christian Louboutins.

Rachel McAdams

Love, Character, Pretty

I have very short hair. It's the only cute haircut I think I've ever had.

Jamie Lee Curtis

Short, Hair, Haircut

I found myself compelled - like this weird, shameful compulsion - to draw cute animals.

Lynda Barry

Weird, Found, Draw

These big-package releases. There should be a cute name for them.

Julian Assange

Name

Speaking of Twitter, I don't even know if I composed a blog entry in 2009, as I was too busy parceling my every thought into cute 140-character sound bites. I used to only worry about being pithy for a living; now some of my best lines are wasted on a free app!

Diablo Cody

Best, Living, Free

I don't really have a type of guy I like. It's just like nice guys, cute boys I mean, ones that are funny.

Emma Roberts

Funny, Nice, Mean

I'm a feminist. The women in my books in recent years have been powerful characters and I love to see a woman with a cute bottom walking past.

Wilbur Smith

Love, Women, Woman

It can be hard for the cute girl. I was blond, cute, broke. I was beat up. I was thrown inside lockers. I was burned with cigarettes. My hair was lit on fire.

Jenny McCarthy

Girl, Fire, Hair

Could I see myself with a British boyfriend? Absolutely. The way they wear their pants is so cute. Guys don't do it in America. Their style is cute. I just feel like Brits are honest - period. And that's what I like.

Kelly Rowland

America, Honest, Style