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Kevin Hart Seriously Funny Quotes Biography

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I finally saw the @charliesheen interview & I must say that the shit was EPIC....I am now on a drug called "Kevin Hart" WINNING LOL

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Kevin Hart quotes

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I DON'T have EX's! I have Y's. Like 'Y the hell did I date you?!'

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Kevin Hart quotes

Funny quotes Ex Boyfriend quotes Ex Girlfriend quotes

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TheRealTacticsThe day Rick Ross dives into the crowd, is the day we find out who his true fans are.

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Kevin Hart quotes | added by: TheRealTactics

Funny Facebook Status quotes Clever Facebook Status quotes Celebrity quotes Comedy quotes

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I think if you get kicked in the face you deserved it because that means that you watched the foot come to your face.

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Yeah! Real niggas. ALL day! Just me. By myself. On the block. Holdin it down. Gun in my waist. Straight face. All day. Not a game. In jail. By myself. 1 bed. No pillow case. 1 pillow. Didnt nobody write me. It was early. Woke up. Went back to sleep. Took a nap. You ever go night night nigga?

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My baby is weird man... when he get mad, he gets in the oven.

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Its about to go down.. My mom told me to tell you! To mind your damn motherfucking business bitch, you lil' stupid bitch , dumb teacher bitch, 2+2 not knowin' what the fuck it is bich, cross eyed cryin' down your back fat foot ass bitch, long titty no nipple havin' ass bich! An the crazy shit its my friends in the background OHHHH OHHHH HE SAID SHE AINT ' HAVE NO NIPPLES! Igot suspended an an asswhoopin' when I got home my mom said I told you to say 2 cuss words your said... 76 of em.

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Say it with ya chest, lil ass nigga!

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You like cheese without the corners, in other words you'll never be a slice bitch!

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You see my eyes huh? Roll em!

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Why would you go throw a pen at it if you dont even know wat it is??!!

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We took a vote...She lost.... I kicked her off!

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I dont like to hear women argue....it makes my balls itch.

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If you get in a fight and your with me? Than you just got fucked up!

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Well hey look at who made herself a swimmer.

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YOU AIN'T GON DO SHIT!

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Ever argue with a female and, in the middle of the argument, you no longer feel safe because of her actions? She may start pacing back and forth real fast, breathing out her nose. You know what my girl do? When she get mad, she start talking in the third person. That's scary as hell because that's her way of telling me that from this point on, she is not responsible for none of her actions.

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One time, she got me so mad, we got into a fist fight. You know how you know when you lost a fight to your woman? When the cops come to your house and ask you do you want to press charges. That's how you know it didn't go as you planned.

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How do people shit on themselves when they are sleeping? That's some nasty shit....like what kinda sick dream were you having that caused that.

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Kevin Hart quotes

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Don't ever eat a hot sausage for breakfast, don't ask me why damn it, just make sure u never do it!

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Ladies if you have 2 suck in your stomach while wearing a T-shirt chances are that T-shirt might not be ur size...Tubby Tubby.

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Wtf is going on? I just caught 2 thugs walking out of justin bieber's new movie "Never Say"........lmao

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Who ever invented ALCOHOL should be shot immediately, Hang overs r the worst...I swear it feels like a fat baby is kicking me in the head.

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These glasses are way 2 big for my damn face! I look like I got on a damn Tinted Construction Mask.

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Where da LAP TOP AT, where da LAP TOP AT!

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Kevin Hart quotes

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You know how you know you have lost a fight with your woman? When the cops come in and say, sir do you wanna press charges?

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If you think I give a damn about you b!@$%. You got another thing comin. And let me tell you 1 more thing b!@$%

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You wanna go night night nigga? Everybody go night night nigga!

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It's about to go down.

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Kev come peel this muth muffin cap back blue.

Oh Oh so you don't gotta wear pants cause yo dick is out? Then when the mother leave.. You got show we small but big at the same time.

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No Nipple Having Ass Bitch!

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I just wanna eat some peanuts...See? Peanuts.

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Yo, don't joke about zombies. That shit there - that's real.

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What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you "turn up missing"?

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So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time.

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Mmm. No, no. But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, you're never missing. And when you're missing, you never turn up.

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Damn! Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that.

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Beat me like Bobby beats Whitney! Allegedly.

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I'm gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass!

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Kevin Hart quotes