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Funny Drinking Quotes Biography

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Meeting Franklin Roosevelt was like opening your first bottle of champagne; knowing him was like drinking it.

Winston Churchill

Him, Knowing, Meeting

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Oscar Wilde

Work, Curse, Classes

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

Winston Churchill

Life, Alcohol, Smoking

It's like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't know where your going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It's like the throw of the dice.

Jim Morrison

Work, Good, End

Would that I were a dry well, and that the people tossed stones into me, for that would be easier than to be a spring of flowing water that the thirsty pass by, and from which they avoid drinking.

Khalil Gibran

Spring, Water, Avoid

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.

Rodney Dangerfield

Coming, Taking, Juice

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Johnny Carson

Food, Sex, Rich

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.

Voltaire

God, Pleasure, Eating

Drinking bear is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that's a tough call. That's rebellion.

Alice Cooper

Tough, Christian, Easy

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Carrie Fisher

Waiting, Die, Resentment

To be always intending to make a new and better life but never to find time to set about it is as to put off eating and drinking and sleeping from one day to the next until you're dead.

Og Mandino

Life, Time, Dead

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands.

Lord Byron

True, Woman, Seen

I made a commitment to completely cut out drinking and anything that might hamper me from getting my mind and body together. And the floodgates of goodness have opened upon me - spiritually and financially.

Denzel Washington

Mind, Together, Getting

Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.

W. C. Fields

Easy, Off, Times

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

Reading, Read, Gave

'Sex' is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.

Marquis de Sade

Sex, Satisfied, False

If everybody in this town connected with politics had to leave town because of chasing women and drinking, you would have no government.

Barry Goldwater

Politics, Women, Government

There are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking; as there are fruits that are not good until they are rotten.

Samuel Johnson

Men, Good, Until

By polluting clear water with slime you will never find good drinking water.

Aeschylus

Good, Water, Clear

Melancholy, indeed, should be diverted by every means but drinking.

Samuel Johnson

Means, Melancholy, Indeed

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Tommy Cooper

Kids, Off, Police

I keep telling people: Don't make me the poster boy for AA because I don't know a lot about sobriety, but I do know a lot about drinking.

Billy Joel

Keep, Sobriety, Boy

Let me be the first to tell you, drinking alcohol is the worst thing to do in cold weather. Hot soup is the best because the process of digesting food helps to warm you up.

Morgan Freeman

Best, Food, Alcohol

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

Clement Freud

Smoking, Loving, Actually

Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness.

Walter Scott

If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.

Thomas de Quincey

Once, Himself, Next

I'll promise to go easier on drinking and to get to bed earlier, but not for you, fifty thousand dollars, or two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars will I give up women. They're too much fun.

Babe Ruth

Women, Fun, Promise

I tried to give up drugs by drinking.

Lou Reed

Tried

Does anybody think these people were just sitting around drinking tea?

Condoleezza Rice

Anybody, Tea, Sitting

I threw my cup away when I saw a child drinking from his hands at the trough.

Diogenes

Away, Child, Hands

Making a movie and not directing the little moments is like drinking a soda and leaving the little slurp puddle for someone else.

Steven Spielberg

Leaving, Else, Making

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

Jimmy Breslin

Stop, Place, Started

I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven't had a drink now in 12 years.

Samuel L. Jackson

Yourself, Beer, Drink

There's over a billion people on this planet that don't have access to clean drinking water.

Michael Moore

Water, Planet, Clean

I hate the taste of alcohol. When I'm drinking, I'm drinking Red Bull.

Paris Hilton

Hate, Alcohol, Red

I've been drinking tequila for a long time now, and it's never been about drinking to get drunk. I don't do that. I never drink tequila during the day, and I don't drive at night.

Sammy Hagar

Time, Night, Drunk

I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.

George Best

While, Asleep, Stopped

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

Artie Lange

Christian, Weekend, Vegas

I love milk so much! I make a point of drinking a glass of milk every day. So now anyone who did those milk ads with the milk mustaches, they're my heroes.

Natalie Portman

Love, Point, Anyone

My justification is that most people my age spend a lot of time thinking about what they're going to do for the next five or ten years. The time they spend thinking about their life, I just spend drinking.

Amy Winehouse

Life, Age, Time

Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking.

Casey Stengel

Drink, Hotel, Bar

I'm only drinking white wine because I'm on a diet and I don't eat.

Oliver Reed

Diet, Wine, Eat

Tequila. Straight. There's a real polite drink. You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down. Then you know you've reached your limit.

Lee Marvin

Keep, Drink, Until

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

Kinky Friedman

Admit, Swallow, Guinness

It is a sign of a dull nature to occupy oneself deeply in matters that concern the body; for instance, to be over much occupied about exercise, about eating and drinking, about easing oneself, about sexual intercourse.

David Bailey

Nature, Body, Exercise

When you drink fluoridated water, you're drinking liquid Prozac. You drink enough of it, even though it's a small amount, drink it for decades and decades and what does Prozac do to you? It dumbs you down; it makes you docile.

Jesse Ventura

Enough, Small, Water

I'll quit coffee. It won't be easy drinking my Bailey's straight, but I'll get used to it. It'll still be the best part of waking up.

Megan Mullally

Best, Easy, Coffee

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.

Robert Benchley

Makes, Fools, Begin

I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.

Kinky Friedman

Admit, Swallow

I'm a Method actor. I spent years training for the drinking and carousing I had to do in this film.

George Clooney

People don't stop eating, and they don't stop drinking coffee.

Magic Johnson

Coffee, Stop, Eating

I've never had coffee. I've always hated the smell. It was always tea. I was a pretty typical kid, though. I grew up drinking Lipton. I didn't know there was other tea to drink.

Billy Corgan

Pretty, Coffee, Drink

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

Robert Benchley

Death, Slow, Hurry

I like to embrace natural beauty. I try to get at least 8 hours of sleep, drinking a lot of water and exercising.

Tia Mowry

Beauty, Sleep, Water

I've had a hip replacement, I've beaten cancer, I had my hand operation, and I stopped drinking. Something inside of me just went, 'I'm done.'

Eddie Van Halen

Cancer, Hand, Inside

By crying on my bed, drinking quite a lot and feeling tempted by drugs. Well, just not reading it to be perfectly honest with you. I know it's a bit of a copout.

Jo Brand

Feeling, Honest, Reading

It was my first scene. My first day. We could have started with me drinking a beer, something a little less than having Barbies touching each other. But they started with that.

Gisele Bundchen

Beer, Less, Started

If you are suffering from your intemperance in eating or in drinking, we that are around you, or associated with you, are affected by your infirmities. We have to suffer on account of the course you pursue, which is wrong. If it has an influence to lessen your powers of mind or body, we are affected by it.

Ellen G. White

Mind, Wrong, Suffering

My kids probably started drinking coffee in their late teens.

Howard Schultz

Kids, Coffee, Late

Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.

Roseanne Barr

Simple, Problems, Milk

I do like beer, but lately I've started drinking non-alcoholic beer and I like the taste of it and I don't get the alcohol, so that's a good alternative also.

Mike Ditka

Good, Alcohol, Beer

I'm gaining weight the right way: I'm drinking beer.

Johnny Damon

Beer, Weight, Gaining

The piano has been drinking, not me.

Tom Waits

Piano

To me, being grown-up meant smoking cigarettes, drinking cocktails, and dressing up in high heels and glamourous outfits.

Lorna Luft

Smoking, High, Heels

The first thing I did was give up sweet tea because I drank so much. I'd start drinking at lunchtime and wouldn't set it down until I went to bed. When you calculate how much empty calories and how much sugar I was consuming, it was staggering. So I haven't had a glass of sweet tea in three years.

Paula Deen

Start, Sweet, Until

I bought a piano once because I had the dream of playing As Time Goes By as some girl's leaning on it drinking a martini. Great image. But none of it worked out. I can't even play Chopsticks. But I've got a nice piano at my house!

George Clooney

Time, Great, Nice

Mom was the greatest influence of my childhood. She wanted to save me from the vice, lust, and drinking that was all about me.

Ethel Waters

Mom, Greatest, Influence

I still drink vodka; I'm not an advocate of drinking, but I'm no angel. I don't like grass, because it just makes me hungry.

Calvin Klein

Drink, Makes, Vodka

To be bowed by grief is folly; Naught is gained by melancholy; Better than the pain of thinking, Is to steep the sense in drinking.

Alcaeus

Pain, Thinking, Sense

Paintings are like a beer, only beer tastes good and it's hard to stop drinking beer.

Billy Carter

Good, Stop, Beer

I think we should stop drinking bottled water. There's no need to be drinking it if you're living in western communities.

Cate Blanchett

Living, Water, Stop

Often when a person can't get past stress, she will turn to overeating, drinking or smoking, which can become a greater problem than the stress itself.

Marilu Henner

Past, Stress, Problem

If I start going back to church, I'd have to stop the smoking and drinking, and I wouldn't be able to curse any more.

Katherine Heigl

Start, Smoking, Stop

I think viewers quite like it when I'm suffering or eating or drinking something horrible or really up against it in some quicksand or whatever.

Bear Grylls

Whatever, Suffering, Against

But the trouble is that when you drink it, you invariably meet other people drinking it.

Oliver Reed

Trouble, Drink, Meet