Funny Quotes And Sayings Biographysource (google.com.pk)
Everybody wants to go to Heaven; But nobody wants to die.
Dear Math, Please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
They say that love is more important than money, But have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
For 2014 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year!
When i die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
What's happening with your phone, Every time i call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a Monkey, Please contact the Zoo.'
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.
When a door closes another door should open, But if it doesn't then go in through the Window.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
My friend, remember that without stupidity there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so the world needs you after all.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.
You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong.
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width.
Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway!
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.
The luck of having talent is not enough; one must also have a talent for luck.
Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.
The past can haunt you, but so can ghosts. The future can be unpredictable, but so can the stock market. So the lesson is, don't worry about ghosts and the stock market and you will be fine.
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Playing the stock market is very similar to playing the lottery, except you actually win sometimes at the lottery.
Gasoline is getting more expensive because transporting it costs more when it gets more expensive.
If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties.