Funny Quotes From The Office Biography
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
Morning, Brain, Working
I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office.
Men, Ambition, Painful
Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion. The several sects perform the office of a Censor - over each other.
Religion, Opinion, Difference
The second office in the government is honorable and easy; the first is but a splendid misery.
Government, Easy, Second
When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were.
John F. Kennedy
Bad, Saying, Surprised
The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Success, Leadership, Football
It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister, to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart. Having said this, I have said all.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Heart, Said, Christian
Instead of being concerned that you have no office, be concerned to think how you may fit yourself for office. Instead of being concerned that you are not known, seek to be worthy of being known.
Yourself, May, Known
Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.
Work, Walk, Anyone
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Christmas, Job, Looking
It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office.
Love, Drunk, While
The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office.
George Bernard Shaw
War, Stand, Soldier
A man who has no office to go, to I don't care who he is, is a trial of which you can have no conception.
George Bernard Shaw
Care, Trial, Conception
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Doctor, Died, Whose
I weep for the liberty of my country when I see at this early day of its successful experiment that corruption has been imputed to many members of the House of Representatives, and the rights of the people have been bartered for promises of office.
Successful, Liberty, Corruption
No people is wholly civilized where a distinction is drawn between stealing an office and stealing a purse.
Between, Stealing, Civilized
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
H. L. Mencken
Hate, Sense, Honesty
I found this national debt, doubled, wrapped in a big bow waiting for me as I stepped into the Oval Office.
Waiting, Debt, Found
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Great, Public, Thieves
Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.
Virtue, Reward, Box
There is probably a perverse pride in my administration... that we were going to do the right thing, even if short-term it was unpopular. And I think anybody who's occupied this office has to remember that success is determined by an intersection in policy and politics and that you can't be neglecting of marketing and P.R. and public opinion.
Success, Politics, Remember
Official dignity tends to increase in inverse ratio to the importance of the country in which the office is held.
Dignity, Importance, Increase
We need more of the Office Desk and less of the Show Window in politics. Let men in office substitute the midnight oil for the limelight.
Politics, Men, Show
To some degree it matters who's in office, but it matters more how much pressure they're under from the public.
Matters, Pressure, Public
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
America, Crime, Year
A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds some office that a Republican wants.
Harry S. Truman
Republican, Wants, Democrat
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
P. J. O'Rourke
History, Death, Character
No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old, and that I know.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
People will say a movie bombed at the box office but I couldn't care less.
Care, Less, Movie
My country has contrived for me the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived or his imagination conceived.
Invention, Contrived, Conceived
It is easier to appear worthy of a position one does not hold, than of the office which one fills.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Hold, Position, Worthy
The Congressional Budget Office has been embarrassed repeatedly by making projections based on the assumption that tax revenues and tax rates move in the same direction.
Direction, Making, Tax
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Time, Christmas, Lose
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Government, Republican, Cares
A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him.
Wise, Ambition, Him
Nixon is one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.
Harry S. Truman
Time, History, Talking
Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties.
Women, Run, Parties
No man can call himself liberal, or radical, or even a conservative advocate of fair play, if his work depends in any way on the unpaid or underpaid labor of women at home, or in the office.
Work, Women, Home
I had three points I wanted to make: That not everybody in Hollywood is on the left, that Obama has broken a lot of the promises he made when he took office, and that the people should feel free to get rid of any politician who's not doing a good job. But I didn't make up my mind exactly what I was going to say until I said it.
Good, Mind, Job
Whether a woman's running for office or she's supporting her husband who's running for office and she gets criticised for wearing open-toed shoes or for the colour of her coat, there's just a lot of history that you bear if you are a woman who puts herself out in the political arena.
History, Woman, Political
Every president, if you watch what they look like when they come into office, you can see their hair turn white because it's such a hard job.
Job, Hair, President
A politician never forgets the precarious nature of elective life. We have never established a practice of tenure in public office.
Hubert H. Humphrey
Life, Nature, Practice
Office politics are bloody-minded, but weak on content.
Politics, Weak, Content
In the discharge of the duties of this office, there is one rule of action more important than all others. It consists in never doing anything that someone else can do for you.
Others, Action, Else
One of the things the government can't do is run anything. The only things our government runs are the post office and the railroads, and both of them are bankrupt.
Government, Both, Run
I'd like to talk to Arnold Schwarzenegger, 'cause I live in California and I just want to see that canned, chemical filled body in my office.
Talk, Body, Cause
Consul - in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
Politics, Leave, Failed
I have not the smarts or patience for political office.
Patience, Political, Smarts
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
Leaving, Late, Early
The right way to reign in healthcare costs is not by applying more government and more controls and making it more like the post office, it's by making it more like a consumer-driven market.
Government, Making, Market
Some of the companies we helped start are names you know. An office supply company called Staples - where I'm pleased to see the Obama campaign has been shopping; The Sports Authority, which became a favorite of my sons. We started an early childhood learning center called Bright Horizons that First Lady Michelle Obama rightly praised.
Learning, Sports, Start
Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them.
Reason, Pretend, Serve
I always supported the women I worked with having time off to go to parent-teacher conferences and doctors' appointments or bringing their infants into the office.
Time, Women, Off
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Until, Doctor, Full
The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.
Henry A. Kissinger
Longer, Appear, Infallible
'We really shouldn't look like a church.' I've heard that so much I want to vomit. 'Why?' I ask. 'Do you want your bank to look like a bank? Do you want your doctor's office to look like a doctor's office, or would you prefer your doctor to dress like a clown?'
Charles R. Swindoll
Church, Doctor, Ask
He who uses the office he owes to the voters wrongfully and against them is a thief.
Against, Thief, Owes
I want to be a cheerleader for women who have never even considered running for office or being involved in a campaign, but who in the quietness of their hearts might think, 'Why not me?'
Women, Might, Involved
The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.
Evil, Understand, Post
There are no favorites in my office. I treat them all with the same general inconsideration.
Lyndon B. Johnson
Treat, General, Favorites
In my office in Jerusalem, there's an ancient seal. It's a signet ring of a Jewish official from the time of the Bible. The seal was found right next to the Western Wall, and it dates back 2,700 years, to the time of King Hezekiah. Now, there's a name of the Jewish official inscribed on the ring in Hebrew. His name was Netanyahu.
Time, Bible, Next
The idea that you can merchandise candidates for high office like breakfast cereal - that you can gather votes like box tops - is, I think, the ultimate indignity to the democratic process.
Adlai E. Stevenson
Idea, High, Process
I can only assume that your editorial writer tripped over the First Amendment and thought it was the office cat.
E. B. White
Writer, Assume, Cat
I believe in the battle-whether it's the battle of a campaign or the battle of this office, which is a continuing battle.
Richard M. Nixon
Battle, Campaign, Continuing
When I give a man an office, I watch him carefully to see whether he is swelling or growing.
Him, Growing, Whether
Most of the people who are in elective office in Washington, D.C., they have held public office before. How's that workin' for you?
Public, Washington, Elective
High office teaches decision making, not substance. It consumes intellectual capital; it does not create it. Most high officials leave office with the perceptions and insights with which they entered; they learn how to make decisions but not what decisions to make.
Henry A. Kissinger
Decision, Learn, Decisions
I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.
Blood, Color, Doctor
The number of people, the labor force, has shrunk by nine million human beings since Obama took office.
Since, Labor, Number
I've always believed in the old-fashioned way: When you've got scoundrels in office, you vote 'em out.
Vote, Believed, Scoundrels
If I were to make public these tapes, containing blunt and candid remarks on many different subjects, the confidentiality of the office of the president would always be suspect.
Richard M. Nixon
Public, President, Suspect
As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office.
Money, Women, Vote
But, you know, we have these entrenched entities - and I'm talking about both Republicans and Democrats - who believe that when you're elected to office, you become some kind of member of the aristocracy, and that anyone who challenges you is attacking you and is unpatriotic. This is foolishness.
Become, Talking, Both
I would sincerely regret, and which never shall happen whilst I am in office, a military guard around the President.
Happen, Regret, Military
Those who insist on the dignity of their office show they have not deserved it.
Show, Dignity, Deserved