Funny Quotes From The Hangover Biography
Alan (Zach Galifianakis): "Whatever happens tonight, I won't ever ever speak a word of it. Seriously. I don't care what happens. I don't care if we kill someone. You heard me, it's Sin City."
Sid (Jeffrey Tambor): "Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for Herpes. That shit'll come back with you."
Phil (Bradley Cooper): "Paging Dr. Faggot, Dr. Faggot!"
Alan: "That's right. You better walk on. I'll hit an old man in public."
Doug (Justin Bartha): "Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble. Or drink too much."
Phil: "Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and sh-t."
Alan: "It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane." (commenting on the legalities of counting cards)
Alan: "Well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man…because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a retard."
Alan: "Hey, guys. You ready to let the dogs out?"
Alan: "I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack."
Alan: (Responding to finding a baby in the closet) "Check its collar or something."
Stu (Ed Helms): "I look like a nerdy hillbilly."
Alan: "Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon."
Dr Valsh (Matt Walsh): (Phil asks the doctor if he knows how to get to the chapel) "I do. It's at the corner of get a map and f--k off."
Alan: (Talking about burning the cop car) "Easy. You just pour kerosene over a ferret, light it on both ends, put it in."
Stu: "We're in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?"
Alan: "I think the cop car part's pretty cool."
Phil: "Thank you Alan!"
Alan: "It would be so cool if I could breast-feed."
Alan: "I didn't know they gave out rings at the Holocaust."
Stu: "You f--king calm down. He drugged us. I lost a tooth. I married a whore."
Stu: "You are literally too stupid to insult." (to Alan)
Black Doug (Mike Epps): "I always wondered why they were called ruffies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call 'em floories."
Alan: "Oh, you know what? Next week's no good...the Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it's totally fine."
You come home, and you party. But after that, you get a hangover. Everything about that is negative.
Home, Negative, Party
Opening day. All you have to do is say the words and you feel the shutters thrown wide, the room air out, the light pour in. In baseball, no other day is so pure with possibility. No scores yet, no losses, no blame or disappointment. No hangover, at least until the game's over.
Words, Game, Light
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Family, Death, Cure
Credit buying is much like being drunk. The buzz happens immediately and gives you a lift... The hangover comes the day after.
Drunk, Happens, Credit
Grease is the only cure for a hangover.
I think that 'Hangover II' is as funny as 'The Hangover I,' honest to God, but I think that it's a little bit darker, and the stakes are a little bit higher.
Funny, God, Honest
Why do alcoholics begin down the same hazardous road day after day? They are in search of that elusive window of well-being that opens when you drink your way out of a hangover and aren't yet drunk all over again. The alcoholic's day consists of trying to keep that window open.
Trying, Drunk, Again
Overspending is as certain a part of the holiday season as overeating. But pushing away from both the table and the cash register at least a little bit sooner can make the post-holiday hangover hurt a little bit less.
Hurt, Away, Holiday
I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.
Love, Time, Hate
One day I woke up with an atrocious hangover, and it hurt so badly that I told myself, 'It's time to stop. I can't do it anymore. It's not good. It hurts too much.'
Time, Good, Hurt
'The Hangover' was lightening in a bottle. We're aware of that. It went through the roof all over the world.
Aware, Bottle, Roof
The joke about SAP has always been, it's making '50s German manufacturing methodology, implemented in 1960s software technology, delivered to 1970-style manufacturing organizations, like, it's really - yeah, the incumbency - they are still the lingering hangover from the dot-com crash.
Technology, Joke, Making
I would like to work with Todd Phillips of 'The Hangover'. I would like to do more comedies; it would be a lot of fun. No actors in particular. I don't consciously seek out things to do.
Work, Fun, Seek
I have never been a Conservative, or at least not since being a young teenager. My father voted Conservative, and even his doing that was a hangover from the '50s and '60s, which may have been an influence on me.
May, Father, Young
What in the world is a hangover cure?
There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.'
Love, Funny, School
Dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.
Good, Free, Moment
I'd love to do a movie with females in it, and not necessarily the female version of 'The Hangover,' but I'd love to. If I did it it'd star Juliette Lewis, because she's the funniest woman in the world. She's my favorite actress on the planet. If we did a character-based comedy about women, I don't see it out of my range.
Love, Women, Woman
There's a punk-rock attitude, clearly, to 'Hated.' There's even a punk-rock attitude to 'The Hangover,' I think. We start the movie with a Glenn Danzig song.
Attitude, Start, Song
To be honest with you, since 'Ocean's 11,' 'The Hangover' has become a movie that defines Vegas. Anybody in Vegas will tell you that and I'm proud of it. I love that. I think 'Hangover' does Vegas right and I think that not only, as you said, it's the top-grossing R-rated comedy of all-time, it's also the top-grossing about Vegas or set in Vegas.
Love, Said, Proud
Comedies are just never that expensive quite frankly. They really aren't. We aren't doing green screen shooting, so even Hangover II in Bangkok might seem like it's expensive, you're flying over and back, but they're just not that expensive to make when you do it the way we do it which is very focused and I've done it before.
Might, Quite, Green
If any player has a bad game it's there in the back of your mind in the next game. There's always a hangover. It is like a wounded animal in a way, as you want to get out there as quick as possible and rectify it.
Mind, Bad, Game
'The Hangover' was, like, solid. I laughed a bit, you know. Seven out of 10, maybe. But I made it 32 minutes into 'Hangover 2' before I walked out.
Maybe, Bit, Seven
It was my wife that insisted I do 'The Hangover.'
There is a hangover from a defeat like Denmark - ask any player about when they've had a bad game, it's still in there somewhere in the back of your mind.
Mind, Bad, Game