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Funny Sayings And Quotes Biography

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It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

- Rami Belson

"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner."

---Ben Bergor

"I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me. "

- Unknown

"People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege. "

- Unknown

"Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it. "

- Unknown

"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned "

- Unknown

"When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car. "

- Unknown

"I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, turns out, I was mistaken. "

- Unknown

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

- Whinnie The Pooh

"People that don't know me think I'm shy.

People that do know me wish I were. "

- Unknown

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07-26-2011, 05:10 PM (This post was last modified: 07-26-2011 05:16 PM by funchit.) Post: #2

funchit Offline

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RE: The Best Humor Quotes, Fun Quotes, Humorous sayings

"Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over. "

- reachel

"Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?"

- Roxy Quiksilver

"East to the Sea, West to the Land, Death to the Bi*** that touches my Man. "

- Unknown

"Last night I was looking at the stars and I wondered... where the hell's my ceiling! "

- Unknown

"Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. "

- Unknown

"Please don't interupt me while im ignoring you. "

- t-shirt

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. "

- W. C. Fields

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice??? "

- Tara

"Before I criticize someone, I walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get angry, they are a mile away and barefoot."

- Unknown

"There is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people who ask questions. "

- Unknown

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07-26-2011, 05:12 PM (This post was last modified: 07-26-2011 05:16 PM by funchit.) Post: #3

funchit Offline

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RE: The Best Humor Quotes, Funny Quotes, Humorous sayings

"I'm outta here like a deaf kid in a game of musical chairs. "

- Lisa B.

"I refuse to answer that question on the basis that I don't have the answer. "

- Unknown

"There are two words guys hate: Don't and Stop...Unless those words are spoken together. "

- Brad Hedges

"People will believe anything if you whisper it. "

- The Whispered Rule

"One man’s “magic” is another man’s engineering."

[-]

"If god doesn't like the way I live, Let him tell me, not you."

[Unknown]

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."

[Albert Einstein]

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07-26-2011, 04:50 PM (This post was last modified: 07-26-2011 05:15 PM by funchit.) Post: #2

funchit Offline

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RE: Quotes on Secularism, atheism, freethinking

"If 50 million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing"

[Anatole France]

"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."

[Carl Sagan]

"Faith means not wanting to know what is true."

[Friedrich Nietzsche]

"What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof."

[Christopher Hitchens]

"Men never commit evil so fully and joyfully as when they do it for religious convictions."

[Blaise Pascal Quote]

"You’re basically killing each other to see who’s got the better imaginary friend."

[Richard Jeni Quote]

"The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike."

Delos B. McKown Quote

"Where knowledge ends, religion begins."

Benjamin Disraeli Quote

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07-26-2011, 04:51 PM (This post was last modified: 07-26-2011 05:15 PM by funchit.) Post: #3

funchit Offline

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RE: Quotes on atheism, freethinking, Secularism

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish."

[Quote from Unknown]

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful."

– [Seneca the Younger]

"What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof. "

– [Christopher Hitchens]

"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder."

[Bill Maher]

"On the first day, man created God."

– [Anonymous]

"What’s “God”? Well, you know, when you want something really bad and you close your eyes and you wish for it? God’s the guy that ignores you".

– [Steve Buscemi] (From the movie “The Island”)

"Religion does three things quite effectively: Divides people, Controls people, Deludes people."

– [Carlespie Mary Alice McKinney]

"Religion has caused more misery to all of mankind in every stage of human history than any other single idea."

– [Anonymous]

"When a man is freed of religion, he has a better chance to live a normal and wholesome life."

– [Sigmund Freud]

"Gods dont kill people. People with Gods kill people."

– [David Viaene]

"Animals do not have gods, they are smarter than that."

– [Ronnie Snow]

"Fundamentalism, of any type, due to its prerequisite lack of intelligent thought, could prove to be the worst weapon of mass destruction, of all."

– [David J. Constable]

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07-26-2011, 04:52 PM (This post was last modified: 07-26-2011 05:15 PM by funchit.) Post: #4

funchit Offline

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RE: Quotes on atheism, freethinking, Secularism. Famous sayings on religion

Funny Atheist Quotes

It's your god.

They're your rules.

*You* go to hell.

[Unknown]

"Religions are what dreams are made of."

"One religion is as true as another."

"Faith: not wanting to know what is true."