Funny quotes for the day

Source(google.com.pk)

    If you feel like doing some work, sit down and wait…
    The feeling does go away.”

    “If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask?"
    ~Scott Adams

    “There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.”
    ~Cyrill Connolly

    “Don’t ever wrestle with a pig.
    You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it.”
    ~Cole Yarborough

    “If you drop a white glove into the mud, the glove will get muddy. But the mud will never get glovey.”

    “If you need a helping hand, there is one at the end of your arm.”~Audrey Hepburn

    “If you live to be a hundred. I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”
    ~Winnie the Pooh

    “If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.”~Earl Wilson

    “What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?”
    ~Berlott Brecht

    “The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.”
    ~David Richerby

    “In God we trust. All others bring data.”
    ~Dr. Edwards Deming

    “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life. Unless I buy something.”
    ~Jackie Mason

    “I like work; it fascinates me, I can sit back and look at it for hours.”
    ~Jerome K. Jerome

    “If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.”
    ~Joe Martin