Funny life quotes and sayings

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The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things. ~Henry David Thoreau

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. ~Jack Handey

Life is a foreign language: all men mispronounce it. ~Christopher Morley,Thunder on the Left

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
~Robert Frost, "Cluster of Faith," 1962

In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. ~Kathy Norris

To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else. ~Emily Dickinson

Yes, I will try to be. Because I believe that not being is arrogant. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

Life is the hyphen between matter and spirit. ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827

My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot. ~Ashleigh Brilliant

I say, if your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave. ~Quentin Crisp

As we struggle to make sense of things, life looks on in repose. ~Author Unknown

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~Charles Schulz

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. ~Arthur Miller

Life is like a blanket too short. You pull it up and your toes rebel, you yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder; but cheerful folks manage to draw their knees up and pass a very comfortable night. ~Marion Howard