Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life Definition

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Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.  ~Hans Christian Andersen


When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."  ~Erma Bombeck


The purpose of life is a life of purpose.  ~Attributed to both Ludwig Wittgenstein and Robert Byrne


I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world.  This makes it hard to plan the day.  ~Elwyn Brooks White


Life is simple, it's just not easy.  ~Author Unknown


A life without cause is a life without effect.  ~Barbarella


Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach


Life is not always fair. Sometimes you get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow. ~Terri Guillemets


The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things. ~Henry David Thoreau


I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. ~Jack Handey


Life is a foreign language:  all men mispronounce it.  ~Christopher Morley, Thunder on the Left


Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
~Robert Frost, "Cluster of Faith," 1962


In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.  ~Kathy Norris


To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.  ~Emily Dickinson


Yes, I will try to be.  Because I believe that not being is arrogant.  ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


Life is the hyphen between matter and spirit.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827


My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.  ~Ashleigh Brilliant


I say, if your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.  ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes


You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.  ~Quentin Crisp


As we struggle to make sense of things, life looks on in repose.  ~Author Unknown


I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.  ~Charles Schulz


Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.  ~Arthur Miller


Life is like a blanket too short.  You pull it up and your toes rebel, you yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder; but cheerful folks manage to draw their knees up and pass a very comfortable night.  ~Marion Howard


Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.  ~Author Unknown


You can't escape history, or the needs and neuroses you've picked up like layers and layers of tartar on your teeth.  ~Charles Johnson


Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.  ~Danny Kaye


I have a simple philosophy:  Fill what's empty.  Empty what's full.  Scratch where it itches.  ~Alice Roosevelt Longworth


Life is like a coin.  You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.  ~Lillian Dickson


We are born wet, naked, and hungry.  Then things get worse.  ~Author Unknown


Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up.  ~Author Unknown


Life is a cement trampoline.  ~Howard Nordberg


To preserve a man alive in the midst of so many chances and hostilities, is as great a miracle as to create him.  ~Jeremy Taylor


Life... is like a box of chocolates - a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that no one ever asks for, unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates.  So, you're stuck with mostly undefinable whipped mint crap, mindlessly wolfed down when there's nothing else to eat while you're watching the game.  Sure, once is a while you get a peanut butter cup or an English toffee but it's gone too fast and the taste is fleeting.  In the end, you are left with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, which, if you are desperate enough to eat, leaves nothing but an empty box of useless brown paper.  ~The X-Files


He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche


God pours life into death and death into life without a drop being spilled.  ~Author Unknown


Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.  ~Grandma Moses


I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.  ~Jim Carrey


The great business of life is to be, to do, to do without, and to depart.  ~John, Viscount Morley, Address on Aphorisms


Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.  ~Erich Fromm


My formula for living is quite simple.  I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night.  In between, I occupy myself as best I can.  ~Cary Grant


To live remains an art which everyone must learn, and which no one can teach.  ~Havelock Ellis


Living involves tearing up one rough draft after another.  ~Author Unknown


My grandfather always said that living is like licking honey off a thorn.  ~Louis Adamic


No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence.  ~Thomas Carlyle, Sir Walter Scott, in London and Westminster Review, 12 November 1838


Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire.  I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl.  Let him come out as I do, and bark.  ~Samuel Johnson


Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told:  "I am with you kid.  Let's go."  ~Maya Angelou


Life has meaning only if one barters it day by day for something other than itself.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery


Why torture yourself when life'll do it for you?  ~Author Unknown


Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.  ~George Bernard Shaw, The Doctor's Dilemma, 1906


Puritans will never believe it, but life is full of disagreeable things that aren't even good for you.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


'Tis all a chequer board of nights and days,
Where destiny with men for pieces plays;
Hither and thither, and mates, and slays.
~Edward Fitzgerald, The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyám, 1859


Life: It is about the gift not the package it comes in.  ~Dennis P. Costea, Jr.


...the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.  ~Walt Whitman, "O Me! O Life!", Leaves of Grass


Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.  The world owes you nothing.  It was here first.  ~Mark Twain


Life is the game that must be played.  ~Edwin Arlington Robinson


You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.  You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.  ~Albert Camus


There is no wealth but life.  ~John Ruskin


I know what things are good:  friendship and work and conversation.  These I shall have.  ~Rupert Brooke


Life will always remain a gamble, with prizes sometimes for the imprudent, and blanks so often to the wise.  ~Jerome K. Jerome


The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.  ~Henry David Thoreau


I've learned never to be surprised if what must inevitably happen happens right now.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Life is not a final.  It's daily pop quizzes.  ~Author Unknown


Eating, loving, singing and digesting are, in truth, the four acts of the comic opera known as life, and they pass like bubbles of a bottle of champagne.  Whoever lets them break without having enjoyed them is a complete fool.  ~Gioacchino Rossini


We mourn the transitory things and fret under the yoke of the immutable ones.  ~Paul Eldridge


I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.  ~T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock


Life was a damned muddle - a football game with everyone offside and the referee gotten rid of - everyone claiming the referee would have been on his side.  ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.  ~Anton Chekhov


Following straight lines shortens distances, and also life.  ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


Here is the world.  Beautiful and terrible things will happen.  Don't be afraid.  ~Frederick Buechner


Life is like sailing.  You can use any wind to go in any direction.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Life is so largely controlled by chance that its conduct can be but a perpetual improvisation.  ~W. Somerset Maugham


In life we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable love.  ~Diego Marchi


I count life just a stuff
To try the soul's strength on.
~Robert Browning


Today, fill your cup of life with sunshine and laughter.  ~Dodinsky, www.dodinsky.com


Life may have no meaning.  Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.  ~Ashleigh Brilliant


Life is an incurable Disease.  ~Abraham Cowley


Different shades of life make the painting more beautiful.  ~Mike Dolan, www.hawaiianlife.com


The philosophy of mine earth can be summed up as this:  Sunshine creates happiness, and I create myself.  Nights are long and life is predominantly good.  Wind is refreshing.  Tea is wisdom.  Do the best you can, and be good to yourself so that you can above all be good to others.  ~Jessi Lane Adams


Human life is purely a matter of deciding what's important to you.  ~Anonymous


For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.  ~Albert Camus


Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique, and not too much imagination.  ~Christopher Isherwood


I ask of life to shine meaning in everyone who is searching.  ~Aurora Hernandez


The only way to have a life is to commit to it like crazy.  ~Angelina Jolie


Life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do.  ~Bruce Crampton


Life is a mixed blessing, which we vainly try to unmix.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


In masks outrageous and austere
The years go by in single file;
But none has merited my fear,
And none has quite escaped my smile.
~Elinor Hoyt Wylie, Let No Charitable Hope


To succeed in life, you need three things:  a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.  ~Reba McEntire


The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss.  ~Thomas Carlyle


I say to my child, I will explain to you as much of life as I can, but you must remember that there is a part of life for which you are the explanation.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.  ~Havelock Ellis


Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week.  ~Joseph Addison


We tear life out of life to use it for looking at itself.  ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself remains a very effective therapist. ~Karen Horney, Our Inner Conflicts, 1945, referring to psychoanalysis


Give us Lord, a bit o' sun,
A bit o' work and a bit o' fun;
Give us all in the struggle and sputter
Our daily bread and a bit o' butter.
~From an inn in Lancaster, England


All human things hang on a slender thread, the strongest fall with a sudden crash.  ~Ovid


The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.  ~Heywood Broun


Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance.  ~Author Unknown


When compiling his great dictionary, the young Noah Webster travels to the Himalayas, where he climbs to the cave of the world's wisest man.  "O, great sage," he says, "tell me the meaning of life."  The sage sits Noah at his feet and, with great solemnity, commences to unfold the meaning of life.  When finished, he places a hand on the young man's shoulder and says, "Do you have any other questions, my son?"  Noah flips a page in his notebook and says, "You wouldn't know the meaning of lift, would you?"  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Life is a long process of getting tired.  ~Samuel Butler


I really enjoy life I'm just not good at it.  ~Daniel, @blindedpoet


He who has nothing to die for has nothing to live for.  ~Moroccan Proverb


The kaleidoscope of colour which is my life, shows the interesting choices I've made along the way.  ~Antie Koekie


But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.  ~Umberto Eco, Foucault's Pendulum


I wish to die knowing that I took a fleeting instant of eternity and fashioned from it a lifetime.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


God asks no man whether he will accept life.  That is not the choice.  You must take it.  The only question is how.  ~Henry Ward Beecher


Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.  ~Douglas Adams


Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?  ~George Bernard Shaw


There is a time early in life when there seem to be countless reasons for happiness, and then you discover your mom is making them up.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life.  It goes on.  ~Robert Frost


To whoever invented fantasy, redwood trees, and apple pie for breakfast:  well done.  ~Dr. SunWolf, professorsunwolf.com


Life is like a ten-speed bicycle.  Most of us have gears we never use.  ~Charles Schulz


There is no finish line.  ~Nike advertisement


It may be life is only worthwhile at moments.  Perhaps that is all we ought to expect.  ~Sherwood Anderson


I sit astride life like a bad rider on a horse.  I only owe it to the horse's good nature that I am not thrown off at this very moment.  ~Ludwig Wittgenstein


The art of life is the art of avoiding pain.  ~Thomas Jefferson


Serenity of spirit and turbulence of action should make up the sum of a man's life.  ~Vita Sackville-West


The fear of life is the favorite disease of the 20th century.  ~William Lyon Phelps


Most men make the voyage of life as if they carried sealed orders which they were not to open till they were fairly in mid-ocean.  ~James Russell Lowell


In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.  ~Charlie Brown


The world is a grindstone and life is your nose.  ~Fred Allen


Not unfortunately the universe is wild - game-flavoured as a hawk's wing.  ~B.P. Blood


The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth.  ~Chinese Proverb


People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle.  But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth.  Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize:  a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child - our own two eyes.  All is a miracle.  ~Thich Nhat Hanh


You live and learn.  At any rate, you live.  ~Douglas Adams


Life can be easy, it is only question of choosing between solutions and illusions.  ~Didier D’haese


Everything which is properly business we must keep carefully separate from life.  Business requires earnestness and method; life must have a freed handling.  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Life is made up of constant calls to action, and we seldom have time for more than hastily contrived answers.  ~Learned Hand


The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening.  It is a little star dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched.  ~Henry David Thoreau, Walden


Life is the sum of all your choices.  ~Albert Camus


Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living. ~Søren Kierkegaard


Life is all about how you handle Plan B. ~Author Unknown


Life is a brief opportunity to do something prehumously.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Life is the fire that burns and the sun that gives light.  Life is the wind and the rain and the thunder in the sky.  Life is matter and is earth, what is and what is not, and what beyond is in Eternity.  ~Seneca


Out of a hundred years a few minutes were made that stayed with me, not a hundred years.  ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


If A equals success, then the formula is:  A = X + Y + Z, where X is work, Y is play, and Z is keep your mouth shut.  ~Albert Einstein


I gave my life to learning how to live.
Now that I have organized it all...
It is just about over.
~Sandra Hochman


There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination.  Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic.  ~Anaïs Nin


Life is not fair, nor has it ever been, but the morning seems determined to dawn until it is.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Life is a horizontal fall.  ~Jean Cocteau


Today was good.  Today was fun.  Tomorrow is another one.  ~Dr. Seuss


[P]erhaps nothing 'ud be a lesson to us if it didn't come too late.  It's well we should feel as life's a reckoning we can't make twice over; there's no real making amends in this world, any more nor you can mend a wrong subtraction by doing your addition right.  ~George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans), Adam Bede


Only a few things are really important.  ~Marie Dressler


   

We are like people with short-term leases on summer cottages; we can never seem to make our provisions come out even with our stay.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The movement of life has to rest in its own music. ~Rabindranath Tagore


The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.  ~Henry Miller


Everything that occurs in your life is part of God's plan to wake you up.  ~Leonard Jacobson


Life is like eating artichokes; you have got to go through so much to get so little.  ~Thomas Aloysius Dorgan


Summing up, it is clear the future holds great opportunities.  It also holds pitfalls.  The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.  ~Woody Allen, "My Speech to the Graduates," Side Effects, 1980


There is a lesson we learn early and harmlessly, or late and traumatically - that there are things we can break that our parents can't fix.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth. ~Martin H. Fischer


Life is beautiful if you flow with its natural beauty. Resistance makes it ugly. ~Terri Guillemets


Life has no auto-settings. No batteries. You gots to wind it up! ~Jeb Dickerson, www.howtomatter.com


Situated in some nebulous distance I do what I do so that the universal balance of which I am a part may remain a balance.  ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


Few of us write great novels; all of us live them.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Life's like a novel with the end ripped out.  ~Danny Orton and Blair Daly, "Stand"


If you stop struggling, then you stop life.  ~Huey Newton


Sometimes questions are more important than answers.  ~Nancy Willard, quoted in The Meaning of Life, compiled by Hugh S. Moorhead


It is while you are patiently toiling at the little tasks of life that the meaning and shape of the great whole of life dawn on you.  ~Phillips Brooks


My quest for cosmic understanding is a book I have picked up and put down many times, always forgetting to insert a bookmark.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


There is a strange reluctance on the part of most people to admit that they enjoy life.  ~William Lyon Phelps


The world itself is but a series of footnotes to a vast unfinished masterpiece. ~Vladimir Nabokov


The swing on your porch is a better liver of life than the chair in front of your desk. ~Terri Guillemets


Thoreau once thought the moon was larger over the United States than over the Old World, the sky bluer, the stars brighter, the thunder louder, the rivers longer, the mountains higher, the prairies vaster, and he mystically concluded that the spirit of man in America should be larger and more expansive "else why was America discovered?" Thoreau was wrong, and Thoreau was right. There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it, and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself. ~Lin Yutang, On the Wisdom of America


One day can make your life.  One day can ruin your life.  All life is is four or five big days that change everything.  ~Riding in Cars with Boys, Beverly Donofrio (book), Morgan Ward (screenplay)


Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way around.  ~David Lodge, The British Museum Is Falling Down, 1965


If a man in the morning hear the right way, he may die in the evening without regret.  ~Confucius


To drink the sunshine and to dream at night.... ~Author Unknown, "The Fall of Man"


Each day of human life contains joy and anger, pain and pleasure, darkness and light, growth and decay.  Each moment is etched with nature's grand design - do not try to deny or oppose the cosmic order of things.  ~Morihei Ueshiba


The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.  ~Joseph Campbell


You don't want to get to the end of life's journey and discover you never left the interstate.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


In small proportions we just beauties see,
And in short measures life may perfect be.
~Ben Jonson, To the Immortal Memory and Friendship of that Noble Pair, Sir Lucius Cary and Sir H. Morison, 1640


We should give meaning to life, not wait for life to give us meaning.  ~Stacy


Life is a sexually transmitted disease and there is a 100% mortality rate.  ~R.D. Laing


Life always bursts the boundaries of formulas. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Flight to Arras, 1942, translated from French by Lewis Galantière


Live for the roots
Love the green
Dance with the blossoms
~Terri Guillemets


[L]ife is a journey and not a destination... the heart must be set upon those matters of character which are eternal and not upon those matters of sensation which pass away. ~Lynn H. Hough


Life is a process by which a few desperate longings morph into a thousand meaningless wants. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Many of us are equal to life's emergencies who cannot bear its day-after-dayness.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Life is like an onion; you peel off layer after layer and then you find there is nothing in it.  ~James Gibbons Huneker


Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.  ~Ogden Nash


I do like a little bit of butter to my bread.  ~A.A. Milne, When We Were Very Young


I believe in pink.  I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.  I believe in kissing, kissing a lot.  I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.  I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.  I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.  ~Audrey Hepburn


No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made.  Destiny is made silently.  ~Agnes de Mille


How we long to remove the clutter from our lives not realizing that the clutter is our lives.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Life may be defined to be the power of self-augmentation or assimilation, not of self-nurture; for then a steam-engine over a coal-pit might be made to live.  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827


My friend asked me the essence of life and I smiled.  ~Mike Dolan, www.hawaiianlife.com


Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.  ~Henry Van Dyke


People find it hard to be both comic and serious, though life manages it easily enough.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Shall I redirect my life's journey because down some sideroad might be some trifle I'm entitled to?  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Life is a long lesson in humility.  ~James M. Barrie


It has done me good to be somewhat parched by the heat and drenched by the rain of life.  ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


You fool,
You have been dangling
For such a long time!
When will you seize the opportunity
Or feel the necessity
To untangle the taut knot
Of your bondage-life?
~Sri Chinmoy, Ten Thousand Flower-Flames


In life, as in restaurants, we swallow a lot of indigestible stuff just because it comes with the dinner.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Life seems nothing more than a quick succession of busy nothings." ~From the movie Mansfield Park


After sleeping through a hundred million centuries we have finally opened our eyes on a sumptuous planet, sparkling with color, bountiful with life. Within decades we must close our eyes again. Isn't it a noble, an enlightened way of spending our brief time in the sun, to work at understanding the universe and how we have come to wake up in it? This is how I answer when I am asked—as I am surprisingly often—why I bother to get up in the mornings. ~Richard Dawkins


Reason and justice tell me there's more love for humanity in electricity and steam than in chastity and vegetarianism.  ~Anton Chekhov


To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.  ~Samuel Butler


Life is easier than you'd think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable.  ~Kathleen Norris


When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.  ~Mark Twain


Our search should not be a flight from life. ~TKV Desikachar


[T]hat blessed mood,
In which the burthen of the mystery,
In which the heavy and the weary weight
Of all this unintelligible world,
Is lightened:—that serene and blessed mood,
In which the affections gently lead us on,—
Until, the breath of this corporeal frame
And even the motion of our human blood
Almost suspended, we are laid asleep
In body, and become a living soul:
While with an eye made quiet by the power
Of harmony, and the deep power of joy,
We see into the life of things.
~William Wordsworth, 1798


Life's a party.  Invite yourself.  ~Gary Johnson


You can hope for a miracle in your life, or you can realize that your life is the miracle.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.  ~Lemony Snicket


Beauty is precious, you see, and the more beautiful something is, the more precious it is; and the more precious something is, the more it hurts us that it will fade away; and the more we are hurt by beauty, the more we love the world; and the more we love it, the more we are saddened that it is like finely powdered salt that runs away through the fingers, or is puffed away by the wind, or is washed away by the rain. ~Louis de Bernières, Birds Without Wings


Though we live amid promiscuous pressures, spiritual clutter and forgetfulness, we probably still value the integrity of life. ~Baker Brownell, The College and the Community, 1952


Life is not like a box of chocolates.  It's more like a jar of jalapenos.  What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.  ~Author Unknown


There are people who so arrange their lives that they feed themselves only on side dishes.  ~José Ortega y Gasset


The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination.  But the combination is locked up in the safe.  ~Peter De Vries, Let Me Count the Ways, 1965


Every creatures stalks some other, and catches it, and is caught.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


A great part of life consists in contemplating what we cannot cure.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson


I have come one step away from everything.  And here I stay, far from everything, one step away.  ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin


Life is like a cobweb, not an organization chart.  ~H. Ross Perot


A man who has work that suits him and a wife, whom he loves, has squared his accounts with life.  ~Friedrich Hegel


Anxiety and distress, interrupted occasionally by pleasure, is the normal course of man's existence. ~Joseph Wood Krutch


Life is one big judgment call. (And a neverending series of little ones.) ~Terri Guillemets


Lifeless with a heartbeat. ~Daniel, @blindedpoet


There are no extra pieces in the universe.  Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle.  Deepak Chopra


I have approximate answers and possible beliefs and different degrees of certainty about different things, but I'm not absolutely sure of anything, and many things I don't know anything about, such as whether it means anything to ask why we're here, and what the question might mean.  I might think about it a little bit, but if I can't figure it out, then I go on to something else.  But I don't have to know an answer....  I don't feel frightened by not knowing things, by being lost in the mysterious universe without having any purpose, which is the way it really is, as far as I can tell, possibly.  It doesn't frighten me.  ~Richard Phillips Feynman


Life is just a series of trying to make up your mind.  ~Timothy Fuller


Life is a series of family photos in which you keep moving to the rear until finally you're a portrait in the background.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


The history of man for the nine months preceding his birth would, probably, be far more interesting and contain events of greater moment than all the three score and ten years that follow it.  ~Samuel Taylor Coleridge


Perhaps we are looking at this from a wrong perspective; this search for the truth, the meaning of life, the reason of God.  We all have this mindset that the answers are so complex and so vast that it is almost impossible to comprehend.  I think, on the contrary, that the answers are so simple; so simple that it is staring us straight in the face, screaming its lungs out, and yet we fail to notice it.  We're looking through a telescope, searching the stars for the answer, when the answer is actually a speck of dirt on the telescope lens.  ~Jason Q., from generationterrorists.com


Life is little more than a loan shark:  It exacts a very high rate of interest for the few pleasures it concedes.  ~Luigi Pirandello


There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner:  that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson


Life never tires of testing the proposition that life must go on.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore.  It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.  ~H.L. Mencken


Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.  ~Agnes' Law


Chance is always powerful, let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.  ~Ovid


Wars and elections are both too big and too small to matter in the long run.  The daily work - that goes on, it adds up.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams


Life is a series of collisions with the future.  ~José Ortega y Gasset


To the student I would say, "Life is principally multiple choice, but at the end there's a tough essay question."  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.  ~Marcus Aurelius, Meditations


Life is half spent before we know what it is.  ~George Herbert, Jacula Prudentum, 1651


When life throws you lemons, make orange juice.  It will leave them wondering how the hell you did that.  ~Author Unknown


Why does a person even get up in the morning?  You have breakfast, you floss your teeth so you'll have healthy gums in your old age, and then you get in your car and drive down I-10 and die.  Life is so stupid I can't stand it.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams


Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust — we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper. ~Albert Einstein, in The Saturday Evening Post, 26 October 1929


After a lifetime of deep thought, I've decided that life is a distraction, but probably not from anything important. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Jack Palance:  "Do you know what the secret of life is?  One thing.  Just one thing.  You stick to that and everything else don't mean shit."
Billy Crystal:  "Yeah, but what's that one thing?"
Jack Palance:  "That's what you've got to figure out."
~From the movie City Slickers


Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.  ~Dennis Wholey


Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like. ~Author Unknown


Why do critics make such an outcry against tragicomedies? is not life one?  ~Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare, Guesses at Truth, by Two Brothers, 1827


What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. ~Crowfoot, 1890, as quoted in Catch the Whisper of the Wind compiled by Cheewa James


Life never tires of testing the proposition that life must go on. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Have you noticed that life, real honest-to-goodness life, with murders and catastrophes and fabulous inheritances, happens almost exclusively in the newspapers? ~Jean Anouilh, The Rehearsal, 1950


Life is great. Don't let circumstances and society fool you into believing it's not. ~Terri Guillemets


God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. ~Garrison Keillor


Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.  ~Mel Brooks


When we are alone on a starlit night, when by chance we see the migrating birds in autumn descending on a grove of junipers to rest and eat; when we see children in a moment when they are really children, when we know love in our own hearts; or when, like the Japanese poet, Basho, we hear an old frog land in a quiet pond with a solitary splash - at such times the awakening, the turning inside out of all values, the "newness," the emptiness and the purity of vision that make themselves evident, all these provide a glimpse of the cosmic dance.  ~Thomas Merton
    

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny Quotes About Life


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