Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes Definition

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With the funniest of the funny t shirts the most important rule of thumb is this: get there first. Or, at the least second. If you're in the early-adopter stage of a funny t-shirt's life cycle, you're right where you wanna be. Please don't pain everyone with your too-tired-for-words funny t shirt circa 1996. Unless you’re being ironic with those funny t shirts from 1996. In this case, well, you’re in luck. There’s something you probably aren’t aware of – namely, we’re old!

Don't mess around. Go to the best-known location for funny t shirts. Our online shop will always have the best and newest funny design. In fact, at the T-Shirt Outlet, we’ve got the whole thing figured out, too. After all, we've been around since 1996. Yes, that year! So, we know funny t shirts and we know what the newest funny t shirts are, too.

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Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.

Guys have feelings too. But like… who cares?

I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.

Next mood swing: 6 minutes.

I hate everybody, and you’re next.

Please don’t make me kill you.

And your point is…?

I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re ok now.

I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.

Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

Remember my name – you’ll be screaming it later.

You KNOW you want me.

Don’t worry. It’ll only seem kinky the first time…

Of course I don’t look busy… I did it right the first time.

Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?

I’m multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.

You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?

Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.

You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.

All stressed out and no one to choke.

I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.

How can I miss you if you won’t go away?

Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.

If we are what we eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy.

Nobody knows I’m not wearing underwear.

I’m out of estrogen and I have a gun

(1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t!

(2) I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

(3) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

(4) You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

(5) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

(6) I’m not a complete idiot–some parts are missing.

(7) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

(8) NyQuil – The stuffy, sneezy, why-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

(9) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather . . . not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

(10) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

(11) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

(12) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

(13) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

(14) MOP AND GLOW – Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.

(15) Frankly, Scallop, I Don’t Give a Clam (seen on Cape Cod)

(16) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up

(17) Procrastinate Now

(18) Rehab Is for Quitters

(19) My Dog Can Lick Anyone

Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes

Free Funny Quotes


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